Six Simple New Rules for the Anti-Vaccine Crowd

I’m just going to cut to the chase. These are some fun proposed “New Rules” for the anti-vacciners.*

Rule 1: When you or your family member finds out you have cancer you cannot seek treatment. You understand oncology.

Rule 2: When your son breaks his arm playing football, you must set it yourself at home. You are completely familiar with orthopedics.

Rule 3: When your daughter falls and ends up with a gaping open wound on her face you have to stitch it up yourself at home. You are an arm chair plastic surgeon.

Rule 4: When a mysterious rash develops all over your husband’s torso, you must look online to diagnose the problem and handle it with home remedies. You once read an article on dermatology.

Rule 5: When your wife unexpectedly starts bleeding at 6 months gestation, under no circumstances are you allowed to take her to the obstetrician. You know more than a maternal-fetal medical specialist.

In fact, the new Golden Rule is this.

Rule 6: After you’ve ignored all of the research, doctors and specialists (absent a practical reason or something completely out of your control), and when your free will in the face of medical science and absolutely raging common sense results in the death of another human being? Or enables an outbreak or resurgence of deadly diseases that had finally, after years of research/hard work/diligence/exhaustive scientific study, been subdued?

And if you are an elected politician who votes “yes” on legislation that enables an outbreak or resurgence of deadly diseases that had finally, after years of research/hard work/diligence/exhaustive scientific study, been subdued?

Your ass goes to jail. **

*not to be confused with those who suffer from compromised immune systems who are unable to receive vaccines; you know, the ones who can die because of the anti-vacciners

** welcome to one of the few areas in my world that I view as black and white