I Think I Might be a Hoarder

Hoarding: acquiring and failing to throw out a large number of items that would appear to have little or no value to others (e.g., papers, notes, flyers, newspapers, clothes).

I think I may be a hoarder. Of KU memorabilia. I once bought an old KU fraternity mug because it was dated 1952, the year we won our first NCAA National Championship. Yes, I said “we”. The mug is engraved with the name “Ronnie”, and as long as I keep it turned a certain way, I can pretend like it has Phog Allen’s name on it. I have Roy Williams’ autograph on a golf bag he used. I also have his autograph in a book......and on a ticket stub.....and on a poster (with George Brett’s autograph....and Marty Schottenheimer’s, both of which are simply incidental because I could care less about them). I have Bill Self’s autograph too. In a framed National Championship compilation that required me swearing it would be my birthday/Christmas/Anniversary/Valentines Day gift for the next three years in order to purchase it. I also have that wonderful autograph on a piece of paper, on a KC Star article from his first Late Night at KU (along with Danny Manning’s and J.R. Giddens’), in a book, in another book, on a basketball....um, on two other, I mean three other basketballs, on a roster......Seriously, one cannot have too many signatures from their favorite coach, can they? Speaking of coaches, since we’re on that subject, I also have Larry Brown’s autograph. On a piece of paper. And on a photo....that includes Bill Self’s autograph....that includes a photo of me....between Bill Self and Larry Brown.

You see, this is what makes me wonder if I might have a problem. Not that I have the autographs but, rather, that I can’t get rid of them, even when I have multiple of the same person. Any of them. Not even for charity events. Not even to bring joy to a friend.

I hoard KU stuff. I have Wilt Chamberlain’s autograph on my wall, which is just down the way from that of JoJo White, Paul Pierce, and a personally signed roster from Sherron Collins that I received for my 40th birthday. Sherron even wrote “Happy Birthday”. I have a limited collection of autographed Sports Illustrated magazines, including “Mario’s Miracle” from 2008 and the famous “Danny Boy” from 1988, which took me damn near 25 years of stalking to obtain (which probably explains the gracious "go KU" he added after I TOLD him I'd been stalking him; no, I don't have a filter). Sometimes I lose sleep at night because I didn’t get Marcus Morris’s ink on a 2011 Sports Illustrated or Todd Reesing’s on his SI cover in 2007. It could be decades before KU is on the cover of Sports Illustrated again for football. This causes me angst! I read an online article once that praised Allen Fieldhouse. It was from 1978. Yes, I found a copy. Yes, it is framed and on the woman cave wall now. What can I say, it was a really cool article (which is why I’ve included the link; your are welcome)! I have a College SI edition signed by Sherron and that same signature on a “Get It On With Sherron” t-shirt. You see, I really loved Sherron. My favorite from last year is the KU Sports “The Hustle & The Muscle” issue with Tyshawn Taylor and Thomas Robinson gracing the cover. Yes, both have signed it. I’ve got individual photos, signed by Cole Aldrich and Wayne Simien and have even started this insanity with my daughter, who is in a photo with Brandon Rush. Yes, it’s signed “To Marah, Brandon Rush”.

There are large, professionally framed pictures as well. My favorite is, of course, a limited edition print done in 1988, with Danny Manning gracing the foreground. Chris Piper, Milt Newton, Kevin Pritchard, Dave Seiger, Harvey Grant and Stacey King are surrounding him....Danny and the Miracles tackling the Giant Sooners in an epic battle that will go down in history as one of the most amazing Cinderella stories in NCAA lore. In the background, Larry Brown is adjusting his glasses and young Ryan is watching the game passionately in his wheelchair. I covet this print. Sometimes, I just stand and stare at it, remembering the intensity and speed of that amazing game. This must’ve been when the obsession began. I hoarded newspaper articles that entire year and still possess a huge scrapbook containing them, along with various signs and notes that were placed on our dorm room entrance that season.

The hoarding isn’t limited to framed prints and signed basketballs. I have boom sticks still in their wrappers from a past Late Night. I have a stack of “Senior Night” cups from 2008 and woe be the person who might try to take a single one of them. I find random ticket stubs in books....including stubs from not just Allen Fieldhouse or the Sprint Center, but from Kemper Arena and Bramlage Coliseum. Speaking of Bramlage, my second favorite print is from 1986 and honors KU’s Final Four team that year. In the picture, we are playing KSU, with Cedric Hunter bringing up the ball, Manning and Calvin Thompson on the right, Ron Kellogg on the left, and Greg Dreiling bringing up the rear. I like to stare at that one too. Don’t judge, lest you’ve walked in my shoes! Shadow boxes hold tickets and programs from the 2003 National Championship, the 2008 Orange Bowl, and the 2008 National Championship. It took some slick work to obtain permission from my husband to attend all of them, including promises I’m not allowed to publicly disclose. There are also tickets from an Elite Eight in Madison and another in St. Louis. A program from a tournament in Vegas.....and a huge KU flag, hustled from a bar owner in San Antonio.

My hoarding doesn’t only apply to recent events. I happen to like antiques as well and take great pride in a special 78 rpm record set, titled “Songs of KU”. It helps that we actually have a Victrola and can play them. I have collected a handful of postcards from the early 1900’s of campus buildings and framed them. I once purchased a 1945 KU year book because it was the same year Germany and Japan surrendered. You see, this was an opportunity to blend my two biggest passions: KU and WWII history. It didn’t end there, and I was soon compelled to buy a 1946 edition because it was my Grandfather’s first year at KU……on the GI Bill….an additional WWII connection. Aunt Steph, who attended KU, was born in 1947, so she got her own KU year book from that year. I have a small booklet from the 1952 Olympic games in Helsinki, Finland, when Phog Allen coached the USA basketball team. There were seven, yes, SEVEN, members of that team who came from the University of Kansas, including Bill Houghland and Clyde Lovellette. In the interest of historical accuracy, I feel the need to assure the reader that we triumphed over the Soviets and won the Gold. Speaking of small booklets, I have two “K” books. These were small booklets handed out to students in the 1920's and 1930’s and they included random pertinent information, including but not limited to the school song and the “I’m a Jayhawk” song. I must truly love my Jayhawk buddy Barb, because I gave her one of the three I had purchased as a gift. Sometimes I miss that small book.

Speaking of books, did I say I have two passions? Actually, I failed to mention a third: books. I stumble upon books I forgot I bought, about KU basketball history and KU Final Four teams. Max’s autobiography is signed “To Marlys: Rock Chalk, Max Faulkenstein”. Jerod Haase’s book is signed “To Marlys: Merry Christmas, Jerod Haase”. Roy signed the introduction. I also found Lester Earl’s autograph (yes, historians, he was a bust), T.J. Pugh’s, and some player named Jelani Janisse’s. I had to google this guy, because I couldn’t recall who in the hell he was. He played at KU briefly and is now famous in the world of Slamball. Who knew? I have "Beware of the Phog: 50 Years of Allen Fieldhouse" in a limited, leather bound edition, signed by Bill Houghland. Although that one is special to me, the paper back “Against All Odds” by the Lawrence Journal World holds most of my prized autographs. This book contains Self’s autograph (again), Dean Smith’s, Ted Owens’, Clyde Lovellette’s, Bud Stallworth’s, Max Faulkenstein’s (eh, hm, again), most of the 1988 Championship team, including Danny (again), Milt Newton, and even Coach Ed Manning. There is one very special autograph, though, that caught Max’s eye when he signed the book. It belongs to Ted O’Leary of the 1932 Jayhawks. Less than four years after he signed the book ( which was on November 30, 1997….I know, because in his shaky handwriting he had added the date), he passed away. To lose this book would, simply put, break my heart.

Where in God’s name, you ask, do I obtain these items? It varies. My oldest KU friend in the world is Kris-Ann, a soul who "gets" my obsession and was there with me during our early '90s Final Four runs, several National Championships, and when sweet Ted O'Leary signed The Book. Kris-Ann has provided several of my most prized possessions (including the 1988 print and Roy's autographed golf bag). Barb has also been a benefactress. Almost every single one of the autographs has been obtained in person. Some of them have been purchased online or through sports dealers. If I attend a charity event, I can become downright relentless. Once, when bidding on a particular KU item, I hissed at the woman hovering (this was a silent auction) “you might as well walk away because I WILL have this.” She looked, to say the least, horrified at my aggression but wisely walked away. At last year’s Rock Chalk Ball with Barb, we bid together on a signed pair of boxing gloves worn by Victor Ortiz . We planned to split the gloves to help spread the cost. Why did we want this particular boxer’s gloves? Because he is a passionate KU fan. My half of the pair now sits in front of a brightly covered photo of Victor boxing….in a pair of shorts that sport the Jayhawk. I’ve inherited a few things from my grandfather, like his 1940’s crimson and blue brimmed beanie hat with a “K” on the front. I wore this to the 2008 Orange Bowl, prompting a few queries of “what the heck is that hat?” My response, which proved to be true, was alway “why, it's good luck.” On rare occasions, such as last weekend in Junction City, I just randomly stumble upon items. I had gone to visit my grandfather and Aunt Becky took me antique shopping. I noticed some old magazines in a store and included in the pile, for a whopping $10, was a 1984 program from the NCAA Final Four. It didn't matter that KU wasn’t one of the Final Four teams because, with complete and utter joy, I discovered a two page spread in the program honoring the high school McDonald’s All-Americans from that year. Danny Manning was one of them. I guess I’m going to need his autograph again.

Back to the original question: Am I a hoarder? Probably. Do I care? Maybe this is the wrong question. Maybe the question needs to be, do I want help for my problem? I guess I’m just not there yet. Maybe rock bottom would be cashing in our children’s college funds in order to attend a game. Don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind……but I’m fairly certain my priorities are still safe. You see, there is a limit. I could’ve purchased a book from Phog Allen’s personal library, including HIS autograph in the cover. The price was too high. As a side note, I had the opportunity to tour Bill Self’s office once and observed a publication signed by Phog Allen; shortly thereafter, I mentioned to assistant Coach Dooley that he might want to double check that the book was still there after I exited, as I wasn’t certain I could control myself. He looked amused, but I knew in my heart that, sadly, I wasn’t joking…..I was considering how good my odds were at getting out of the building with that book. A 1952 NCAA Championship ring showed up in a pawn shop in Lawrence recently (don’t ask me how I know, just trust me on this) but the price would’ve resulted in me having to sell my van. Too high. A few friends secretly monitor the addiction, and certainly my spouse has a vested interest in observing when any new frames go up in the “woman cave”. He’s a pretty good sport about it. I take that back: he’s an amazing and unbelievable sport about it.

At the end of the day, my love of KU memorabilia and of the school itself can be summed up in these lyrics from an old Barbara Mandrel song: “If lovin’ you is wrong, I don’t want to be right”. I love my KU hoard and I’m keeping it. But, just in case, if you know the name and number of any good hoarding addiction therapists, send me a private message. I’ll tuck it away in case I ever make it back into Bill Self’s office. The Judge might go light on me if he knows I’m in therapy.