We've met a new family here in the park. They are so nice; three kids and the youngest two are adopted. Steven is 7 and just beautiful. I'm not lying - huge dark eyes with long thick eyelashes and this North Carolina accent that will melt your heart. His younger biological sister is Amelia and she's very delayed. I don't know the diagnosis but she only speaks through sign (although she can hear) and as an infant they didn't even believe she would walk. The oldest daughter (not adopted) is, I'm ashamed to say, the "stalker" I mentioned in the first email (note to Marlys: WAIT before making judgements about people). Her name is Micah and she's 12; very sweet girl but also a bit delayed socially according to mom. She has this knack for finding 4 leaf clovers and has brought me 5 so far. I'm hoping this means good luck?
They left to go home to North Carolina for a week (dad is working here so they are staying all summer) and Marah commented the evening they left "I miss him!" Oh My God! Are you serious??? She's SIX years old!! She woke up this morning and said "I had a dream about Steven". Any advice??? She doesn't want to leave the camp to go on adventures with me and Brody if Steven is around. It rained three afternoons this week and they used our walkie talkies to stay in touch. He'd call and she'd say "let's talk later, I have things to do".
One afternoon, I walked up behind them, unseen. The other kids were going "oooh, gross!! Marah's eating her buggers". She makes me so proud - I mean, that's talent and a stomach of steel! Maybe she can have a career with Jackass The Movie when she's older! Not to be outdone, beautiful Steven pipes up and says "I like to eat mine too!" Maybe they truly are soul mates.
Steven's mom, Anna, approached me on Wednesday and said "I have something I want to tell you that is a little disturbing". I'm like "Oh shit, Marah tried to kiss Steven. I'm going to kill her!!" Nope, not it. She said her husband had an employee (he's here putting in telecommunications lines) who is 19 and was arrested for the third time last week. They won't bond him out and he's very pissed off. A large man tracked her down in the RV park a few days ago and handed her a piece of paper containing the names of their kids, their phone numbers and their the camp site info. He had been in jail with this kid; the kid gave him the information with instructions to track them down and ask for bond money. Anna said the guy followed the instructions and then, on top of it, asked them for money for himself!! He then rented a camping site a few places down from them. Whoooeeee!!! The tent people move, I'm just getting comfortable with the idea that there aren't really an pedophiles near us, and then this. I ran a search of the ex employee's name and he isn't on any sex offender registries...so maybe things are good? I expect this story to keep getting better.
So Charles (by now I shouldn't have to explain who he is) was actually playing with Marah and Steven a few days ago. His camp is about twenty campers down from us and no adult is ever to bee seen. I've "heard tell" that is mother is always on the lookout for him, which could explain why she drives by our site ten+ times a day. Not that I'm counting. I like being in the know....us long termers have to keep each other up to speed.
So anyway, Charles comes strolling onto our property (hey, we're paid up through June!) and wants a drink out of the cooler. The kids have open access to it: there is water, fruit juice boxes, etc.....and also a few special survival drinks that I had forgotten were in the bottom. Charles wants a drink and I say "sure, go ahead and grab one". He reaches in and grabs a Corona. Marah says "Mom, Charles is having a beer!" I reply "No, Marah, he's not!" Charles says "I drink beer with my dad all the time." I say "Go home Charles; if I was your dad, I'd be drinking with you too." (seriously, I didn't really say that...out loud anyway)
I'm attaching a picture of Steven (eh, hm, back to me in real time: I'm not posting the photos of the boys on my blog - pretty sure if I was a parent of them that would make me angry) and am really wishing they would return to the camp. Getting pretty tired of the "what day is it mom?" and "when is HE coming back?" For some reason, I kinda like the kid. It may be his deputy dog "Noth Carlana" accent that reminds me of, dare I say it, ("dare, dare" for those Blazing Saddles connoisseurs) ROY. The OTHER smiling little angel next to Stephen is, you guessed it, Charles. Now, I kept telling him that we LOVE to take pictures of people we meet on our travels and he was just loving the attention. I couldn't ever get a good shot of that tooth, though, and after some time I realized how completely horrific it was that I wanted to photograph this kid (ok, he DOES have a mother after all) so I could show all my friends his blemish. I mean, he's just sucking it up, grinning as big as he could - never knowing he's the focus of my emails. Not to give you the wrong impression....he's really pretty rotten....but is sure cute lookin' when you can't see that black tooth, isn't he!
Two more stories and then I'll end this. We have summer passes to King's Dominion, which is Paramount Pictures them and water park, so I've taken the kids several times to the water area. Brody just loves it there!! (remember - he was two during this time) Yesterday, before I can even find a chair or get situated, he's in the water. A few seconds later I look up and he is literally SHOVING every kid on the slide stairs out of the way. He's so little that most of them didn't realize what it was that was even pushing them; he's also small enough to avoid detection by the life guards. Next thing I know, he's made his way to the front and his high-tailing it down the slide. I had this immediate vision of Napoleon in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure . Remember when Napoleon hit the theme park and was a real butthole to everyone as he was trying to hog the slide? That's exactly what Brody looked like!! I started laughing out loud and everyone around me was staring. The other thing that makes me laugh is that when he has to poop (which always happens in the pool - I think the water relaxes him - hey, I completely understand!) he gets on his hands and knees in the main thoroughfare and starts to get this really, how shall I describe it, intense look on his face. If I attempt to approach him, he begins screaming at me "NO, Mommy!! Go 'way!!" with his little hand shoving me away. It's almost like the Heisman forearm move or the old "talk to the hand" motion. He always picks a very conspicuous place where EVERYONE can see him, right in the middle of the kiddo traffic lanes. Just be glad he's not in any of the Johnson County pools. He's currently running around the trai....I mean RV, naked and he's just peed on the floor. I have less than 25 square feet of carpet to monitor and he's soiled it (better than my leg, eh?). By the way, I'm lookin' pretty rough. Time for another Corona before I go clean.
Final story, since this is getting long. We went into the mountains today to hike up some water falls. The kids were real troopers because it's about three miles up (they petered out at about the two mile mark). It was absolutely beautiful, as you can imagine the Blue Ridge Mountains would be. On the way down, I'm cruising along, all "in the moment" when the world is perfect, the view is unbelievable, my kids are healthy, Brian is wonderful, blah blah blah, when BAM!!! I fall down these rugged steps right on my ass and right in front of another family. MY family, behind me, is laughing like crazy. There's mud all over my backside, I'm skinned up and so sore that it's taken a TALL glass of wine while typing for me to feel less stiff. On our way there this morning we stopped at a diner in town that Brian eats at regularly. The waitress sported a mega '70s doo but she was so sweet! She called us "sugar" and "baby doll" and "darlin'"! After we left, I asked him if she usually works there. He said "Sure! After you took Brody out to the car she told me thanks for bringing in the family. The guys on the job eat here and always come back saying 'I was Baby today and he was Sugar'!" (no comments about my punctuation - it's hard putting a quote within a quote)
Just before leaving the restaurant, and this is not a story for the faint of heart, I took Marah to the lady's room. She sneezed pretty loudly while she was going potty. I went in the same stall after she was done. As I'm sitting there, I look down and notice a massive wad of phlegm on the floor right in front of me and I realize my six year old daughter coughed this out while peeing!!!! How many times do I have to say "cover your mouth"???? At the same time, there is a waitress in the stall next to me (there are only two stalls) and she is panting, and huffing, and grunting as if she's in labor. My gag reflex was at def con 5 by this point so I hightailed it out of there before she could finish her bidnez.
Tomorrow is Father's Day....have a wonderful day with your husbands/dads/grandfathers and please reinforce with your kids/nieces/nephews/godchildren the importance of covering one's mouth while sneezing and of NOT eating one's own buggers (or anyone else's for that matter). Awwwww, the joys of parenting. Take care ladies!!
P.S. One caveat (don't want to offend anyone): the comments on the Chevy Cobalt from earlier were strictly related to the shape the car was in after all the miles of rental driving it had been through - so if anyone owns a Cobalt please do not take offense. Also, the Dodge Neon that I'm now driving is a super lil' car (for all you Neon owners) and....other than those times when I jerk the clutch and throw the kids forward so that their seat belts latch up (that's funny - Marah hates that)....we are cruising in that little guy!!
P.P.S. Both children gave me legal permission to share these tales. True story - I made them sign a liability clause so we won't have to pay for therapy after humiliating them.
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